No, not like that! Quit thinking the worst, you!

I had the idea today to compare having lots of kids to taking speed or meth. Now, I don't exactly know what taking meth is like, but I think I can get an idea, based on previous overdoses of caffeine and previous non-overdoses of Ritalin. From what I've read, meth is similar, just stronger. An intense energy and focus, drive, getting things done. That's what Ritalin and caffeine are like. Focus. Getting things done, instead of sitting around.

On the right day, having a large family is like that. Like yesterday. Wow. I actually got all of school done yesterday, for the first time in I don't know how long. And laundry, and cooked dinner, and went grocery shopping. You get the picture. I was running running running from the time I got up until the time I went to bed, aside from the 30 minutes I deliberately stayed up too late so I could have SOME downtime. But it was a good day, really. Very busy. But good. Things were getting done, I was focused, it was good.

Then there was today. My plans got thrown out the window first thing in the morning. Then I lost two kids for the whole day. Then I lost a third kid for half the day. With only two kids left, it's like my clockwork ran down or something. Sure, I got the tree down and the decorations put away. But I could just feel that I was moving more slowly and aimlessly.

There are days when I do that with all the kids home, but it isn't the same. It's more of a lost, anxious, what-do-I-do-next aimless wandering. Today, it was a relaxed, I-don't-have-to-be-anywhere type of thing.

Now I'm babbling. Whatever.